Affirmation

AFFIRMATION...

We HAVE to address the negative choices our children make.

For instance, if your toddler is going to stick the scissors into the electric outlet, you better shriek and make a big deal that this is NOT an option.

If your school-aged child lies about cheating on a test, you should emphasize the importance of integrity and honesty and use it as a “life lesson” for their development of character.

If your highschooler is texting with the use of foul language, address it and set up parameters about the appropriate use of social media.

But, so many parents feel like all they are doing is addressing the offenses

and their home environments are ones of conflict and negativity.

We desire for our homes to be like those described in Isaiah 32:18:

“My people will live in peaceful dwelling places, in secure homes, in undisturbed places of rest.”

But in order to achieve this peace and an enjoyable experience of "family," it takes significant adjustment on our parts as parents. You see, we just don’t do enough of focusing on and affirming what our children actually ARE doing correctly and well.

We might THINK a thought of thankfulness when our children are actually getting along well in the car’s backseat but we most often do NOT take the next step of illuminating the positive experience with our words and affirming them for the pleasant driving experience for one and all.

We might nod our head in gratefulness that we don’t have to, once again, call our teenager down from their bedroom to empty the dishwasher because

...wait for it…

they actually DID the job they are supposed to do but rarely, if ever, complete without reminding!

But, do we trot up to their room and lather them with praise and thanks for actually doing something that is out-of-the-ordinary for their typically self-centered, adolescent, underdeveloped brain?

So many adolescents complain that their parents are not giving them positive attention when they DO achieve or accomplish expectations, so they often lose the motivation to continue right choices.

ANY attention is better than none, so let's give them positive attention whenever it is warranted.

We can help sculpt our children into the responsible, independent, thoughtful beings we desire if we would affirm them MORE often than the frequency of attention to their negative choices.

As I stated, most of the negative choices they make must be attended to.

But, let us strive to be parents that do well with the direction from I Thessalonians 5:11,

"Encourage one another and build each other up.”

Let’s end each day having given more positive communication to our child than corrective messages.